I Can't Be Who They Expect Me to Be
by RazleBerry
Summary: Brain and Buster are in their first year of college together and have returned to Elwood City for the summer, but Brain has a problem and Buster doesn't know how to help. Future!fic


I'm standing outside his apartment complex in the sweltering heat praying he'll be down soon. It's the first day of summer and I'm already sick of it, at least when we get back to Elwood City it won't be quite so hot. Taking my phone out of the pocket of my shorts, I send him yet another message.

_"Brain, are you ready?" _I typed out quickly and hit the send button.

This is the third message I've sent and still no reply. Did he forget we were leaving today? What could he be doing?

Actually, I'm pretty sure I know what he's doing, I just wish it wasn't true. Sighing, I run my hands through my hair idly and walk into the building. The cool air conditioning hits me like a gust of wind and I make my way to the elevator. When I reach apartment 813, I lift up the straw mat and grab the extra key that I know will be there. I reluctantly turn the knob and walk in, putting my bag down at the door. Brain's apartment was pretty bland, nothing special really. Because of the lack of additional furniture and personal items, it almost looked like a model home. The walls were a plain off-white, and all of the furniture was part of some cheap set and is included in the apartment. I'm not really sure Brain minds too much, it's not like he spends much time anywhere other than in his room.

I know that he'll be in there, but I'm not so sure I want to tackle that task just yet. I open the fridge, food always helps me to relax, and I'm only slightly surprised and mildly disappointed to find it almost completely empty. There's nothing but a carton of expired milk on the top shelf and something that looks like it used to be celery in the vegetable drawer. Although the 8 year-old me would have eaten either of those things without complaint, the 19 year-old me can't quite get away with those things anymore.

_Guess I'm going in on an empty stomach._

I knock on Brain's bedroom door and with a twinge of hope in my voice I call out;

"Brain? It's Buster, are you awake?"

The silence is all I need to confirm my suspicions and an overwhelming sense of dread washes over me. As I turn the knob on the bedroom door and slowly push it open, my breath hitches in my throat at the sorry sight of my closest friend. Brain is passed out at his computer, head fallen haphazardly on the keyboard, one hand on the desk, the other hanging limp at his side. The room smells strongly of alcohol and empty bottles are lying scattered at my friend's feet. I assume the bottles had contained vodka but who could really say anymore, I'm sure Brain would drink anything he could get his hands on nowadays.

I try to wake him up but he really is out, there is no way I'm waking him up anytime soon. I pick him up as best as I can and place him on the bed. I suspect he hasn't packed a bag either, considering how little he wanted to go back to Elwood city with me, so I pack some random clothes I find in his drawers, his toothbrush, and an extra pair of contacts. I debate bringing his laptop but decide it would probably just cause him more stress, so I leave it on the table with the rest of his research. I grab the awkwardly packed bag and bring it downstairs to put in the trunk of the crappy Honda Civic my mom bought me last year.

This is far from the first time I've seen him like this, but it never ceases to send pangs of guilt and pity through me. It hurts me to see him like that. I've known Brain for most of my life, but we never really clicked until college. Everyone was surprised when they learned that Brain and I would be in the same program at the same school, but I can't really see why they would be. I've always been interested in aliens, so why should astronomy be that much of a stretch? I mean, I guess everyone was surprised I could even get into college in general, let alone the same one as the Brain, considering my academic reputation. What they don't know is that ever since high school I've been solely a B's and A's student, but no one ever bothered to ask.

Brain has sort of fallen off the deep end since we got here in September. I don't know what it is with him but something is seriously wrong. As close as we are to each other, he has never told me why he drinks and anyway I'm not really one to pry. I've always been the relaxed, fun friend that you can go to with any problem, but who won't ask or pry too much into your life. Lately though, I've been kind of wanting to break that image because I seriously need to find out what's been bugging him.

The circumstances of today actually kind of remind me of the day I discovered the extent of his habit. I had long suspected that something was up since Brain was constantly exhausted and had some telltale signs of depression. I've had my fair share of depression and I really felt for the guy, but I didn't know just how bad it could get.

Then one morning I went to meet him at his apartment building so that we could get some coffee before class, and the scene played out much like it had today. I was a little worried that he hadn't responded to my messages, so I took the spare key and walked in on him slumped over in a very similar way to today. Actually I think he was lying on the floor that time.. or wait… maybe not? T's sad how many times I have come across this scene, I really can't distinguish them anymore.

As I walk back to his apartment, I silently hope that he's now awake enough to walk to my car, because there is no way I can carry him the entire way there. Thankfully, when I get there, he manages to open his eyes at the sound of my voice and stumble down the stairs sleepily. Once we're in my car, though, he's out again in a heartbeat. I sigh and look over at him.

_What am I going to do?_

To be honest, I'm really scared to bring him home like this. Actually, scared is too light of a word, more like absolutely terrified. To my knowledge, as depressed at he may have been while living in Elwood City, he didn't drink back then (and if he did then no one had noticed) and I really don't want to be the one to tell his parents just how far his life has unraveled.

_Maybe it's a good thing, maybe they'll get him help._

That's my hope anyway, but I think his parent's and our old friend's judgments will just make it worse.

God dammit, if I weren't driving right now I would be punching something. A wall, a window, a pillow, anything. It just makes me so angry and so incredibly sad to see a friend with so much life, so much potential, just throw it all away.

And I have no idea why.

The trip to Elwood City ends up feeling a lot shorter than it should have and it feels like I've been driving for only a few minutes when I see the sign;

_Welcome to Elwood City, Population: 79,567_

When we're past it I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and bit my lip nervously.

This was going to be a long summer.

A/N

I'm planning for this story to have more chapters, but not many, maybe like 3?

Also this takes place at the same time as my other fics He Left and Perfect and I think I'll try and find some way to pull it all together in the end? I'm not sure yet


End file.
